Carlton Mellick III Books in Order

Where to Start with Carlton Mellick III

Carlton Mellick III is the godfather of Bizarro fiction, a genre that blends surrealism, dark comedy, horror, and punk aesthetics. Because the vast majority of his books are standalone novels and novellas, there is no strict single chronological timeline to follow. Instead, readers can jump in almost anywhere. However, some entry points are far better than others for acclimating to his unique style.

For first-time readers, the most highly recommended starting points include:

• The Haunted Vagina (2006): Perhaps his most famous work, this novella is surprisingly sweet and character-focused despite its bizarre, high-concept premise involving a portal to another world. It serves as an excellent litmus test for his style.
• Satan Burger (2001): His debut novel and a cult classic. It features a punk-rock, dystopian energy that defined the early days of bizarro fiction.
• The Cannibals of Candyland (2009): A dark, fairytale-like story that is highly structured and serves as a fantastic entry point for readers who enjoy bizarre world-building mixed with satire.
• Sweet Story (2014): A shorter, highly accessible novella about a girl who wishes for a world made of candy, demonstrating Mellick's ability to turn whimsical concepts into nightmare fuel.

Interconnected Books and Subseries

While Mellick's bibliography consists primarily of standalones, he has written a few direct sequels and companion books that should be read in order.

The Apeshit Trilogy

This series is Carlton Mellick III's love letter to campy B-horror films and classic slasher tropes. While they are written so they can be enjoyed as standalone splatterpunk satires, reading them in order showcases the evolution of the concept:

1. Apeshit (2008): A parody of classic cabin-in-the-woods slasher movies, featuring an over-the-top level of gore and absurdity.
2. Clusterf*ck (2013): A continuation of the slasher parody theme, focusing on cave-exploring teenagers and underground monsters.
3. Apeship (2024): The third entry, which shifts the slasher tropes into a sci-fi space setting.

The Satan Burger Duology

Mellick's debut novel shares a spiritual and thematic connection with a later release, which acts as its sequel:

1. Satan Burger (2001): A surreal journey about lost souls and a demonic fast-food joint.
2. Punk Land (2005): The official sequel, set in a punk-rock afterlife that expands on the chaotic, anti-establishment themes of the original book.

The Wasteland Duology

Set in a Mad Max-style post-apocalyptic desert where a corporate-controlled society clashes with mutant biker clans:

1. Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland (2009): The main novel following a man who gets captured by a tribe of werewolf amazon bikers.
2. Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands (2011): A sequel consisting of three interconnected stories set before, during, and after the events of the first book, expanding on the background characters and lore.

Publication Order of Standalone Novels

For readers who want to experience Mellick's stylistic evolution from early raw punk absurdity to more structured, high-concept narratives, following the standalone novels in order of publication is a popular route:

1. Satan Burger (2001)
2. Electric Jesus Corpse (2002)
3. Punk Land (2005)
4. The Cannibals of Candyland (2009)
5. Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland (2009)
6. The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment (2010)
7. Zombies and Shit (2010)
8. Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands (2011)
9. I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter (2011)
10. Armadillo Fists (2011)
11. The Handsome Squirm (2012)
12. Tumor Fruit (2012)
13. Cuddly Holocaust (2013)
14. Quicksand House (2013)
15. Clusterf*ck (2013)
16. Hungry Bug (2014)
17. ClownFellas (2015)
18. Bio Melt (2015)
19. The Terrible Thing That Happens (2016)
20. The Big Meat (2017)
21. Neverday (2018)
22. The Boy with the Chainsaw Heart (2018)
23. Mouse Trap (2019)
24. The Bad Box (2020)
25. Full Metal Octopus (2021)
26. Goblins on the Other Side (2022)
27. The Girl with the Barbed Wire Hair (2022)
28. You Always Try to Kill Me in Your Dreams (2023)
29. Apeship (2024)

Publication Order of Novellas and Short Stories

Mellick is highly prolific in the shorter novella format. These are quick, punchy, and often pack a heavy conceptual punch:

1. Razor Wire Pubic Hair (2003)
2. The Baby Jesus Butt Plug (2004)
3. Fishy-Fleshed (2004)
4. The Menstruating Mall (2005)
5. Sex and Death in Television Town (2005)
6. Teeth and Tongue Landscape (2006)
7. Sausagey Santa (2006)
8. The Haunted Vagina (2006)
9. Sea of the Patchwork Cats (2006)
10. War Slut (2006)
11. Adolf in Wonderland (2007)
12. The Egg Man (2008)
13. Ultra F*ckers (2008)
14. Cybernetrix (2008)
15. Apeshit (2008)
16. The Faggiest Vampire (2009)
17. Crab Town (2011)
18. The Morbidly Obese Ninja (2011)
19. Fantastic Orgy (2011)
20. Ugly Heaven (2012)
21. The Steel Breakfast Era (2012)
22. Kill Ball (2012)
23. Village of the Mermaids (2013)
24. The Tick People (2014)
25. Sweet Story (2014)
26. As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face (2015)
27. Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole F*cking Face Explodes (2016)
28. Exercise Bike (2017)
29. Spider Bunny (2017)
30. Parasite Milk (2017)
31. Stacking Doll (2018)
32. Snuggle Club (2020)
33. Glass Children (2023)
34. Why I Married a Clown Girl From the Dimension of Death (2023)

What to Know Before You Start

Mellick's books are famous for their shock-value titles, but beneath the provocative wrappers, they feature tightly constructed plots and sincere emotional cores. Most books can be read completely independently, so readers should not worry about finding a definitive timeline. Instead, pick a title or premise that amuses or intrigues you, and jump right in.